Saturday, February 23, 2008

Other Ramblings from the pen of the Terminally Confused...

... can be found at major-jim.livejournal.com

Mostly memes, fan fiction (Patrick O'Brian and Discworld so far, but watch this space) and general silliness.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Food, Food, Glorious Food...

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

OK, it's maybe not up there with the Archbishop converting to Islam (which he hasn't done, by the way, although you'd think he had, the fuss some people are making over his recent comments, however misguided they may be - haven't read them so can't say), but it's still a bit disconcering.

Are you ready?

Deep breath...

Delia says 'eat tinned.'

Yep, that's it.

Actually, it's pretty accurate. If
The Times are to be believed, anyway, and surely Murdoch wouldn't lie to us? Would he?

Well, probably not on this one. It'd be too easy to check.

So, Ms. Smith wants us to eat tinned mince. Why? It's foul and made out of bits of meat that the cow didn't even know that it had and it's TINNED for goodness sake. Surely that's enough. I mean, it's not hard.

So, we have a perculiar situation, where the government want everyone to learn to cook, but the chefs want people to eat a Tesco Economy McTinned Meal. With oven chips.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Meme: Movie Quotes

Well, if Mrs TC can do this, why can't I? Prizes (of the feeling-smug-and-self-satisfied variety) to the best guesses...

Meme rules:

1. Pick 15 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie (not necessarily your favourite quote - they're often too easy!)
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.


1. "The ship is in ship-shape shape."

2. "Hey, what did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it."

3. "There is no spoon."

4. "What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?"

5. "I've never used the word "spinster" in my life. Okay, once, when I told my mother it was technically incorrect to call her son a spinster."

6. "Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks."

7. "I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand."

8. "By 'caliber,' of course, I refer to both the size of their gun barrels and the high quality of their characters... Two meanings... caliber... it's a homonym... Forget it."

9. "The only thing that France is adept at hosting is an invasion."

10. "You do not bang on the hood. You never under any circumstances drive. And you will certainly not put your coffee mug on the roof of the car. In fact, no coffee in the car whatsoever. Coffee goes on the ground, you get in the car, we go."

11. "You never get anyone in 'Wings of a Dove' saying 'Inform the Pentagon we need black star cover!'"

12. "I can't understand it. This car hasn't given me a lick of trouble in nearly 6 hours."

13. "Oh, [name], I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays - but this is the best birthday ever."

14. "I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically."

15. "'Extremely dangerous. Keep out of reach of children.' Cool!"

Friday, February 08, 2008

Sceptical about Science?

I've just been struck by a post on Sam Allberry's blog, which is here if you're interested. But in his final paragraph, he says:

"...Nor is any of this exclusive to Nutritionism. As I thought through these four features, it struck me how true they are of contemporary Environmentalism, the other rising new religion of our day. I can't help feeling captive to the experts. In shrill terms we're told daily of how human carbon emmissions are driving us to the brink of an ecological apocalypse. Recycling and air-travel have become (opposite) moral absolutes. As a Christian, I am far from indifferent to the natural well-being of God's world. And yet I remain mistrustful of a scientific band whose ideology is often secularist and unacknowledged, who confer upon their theories the status of absolute truth, and therefore pillory the rising number of other scientists who do not share their assumptions and who question their findings. I don't like being a cynic, and I don't want to become one of those Christians who forever demonises "those scientists", but sometimes the experts leave us no alternative."

It's a valid point of view, that scientists generally come at a topic from an a-thiestic point of view. Indeed, many a violently anti-religion, and frequently anti-Christianity especially. But this leaves us with a quandry. Do we ignore the claims made by the mass of scientists on the basis that they come from a completely different world-view to Christians, or do we go with them?

This seems to be the root of the question, but it also seems one that has a simple solution. It's about recognising the questions that science as a tool can answer, and those it cannot.

Science is, in its fundamentals, the study of the natural world around us. Indeed, many early scientists called themselves 'natural philosophers,' presumably becuase their thoughts and ponderings were influenced by their observations of nature. (Incidently, I absolutely detest the scientific convention of capitalizing nature or biology, as in "Nature has done this.") Study leads naturally on from observation to hypothesis, from hypothesis to experiment, and from experiment to conclusion or theory.

For example, an observation is that something happens. This leads to the question "why does this happen?" and a guess - "maybe this happens becuase of this." To find out, one alters this and examines the results. Either it has an effect, or it doesn't, and after much hard work, one can draw a conclusion. Eventually, numerous conclusions may lead to a theory, and, once the theory has been tested, and shown to hold true again and again, the word is often changed to 'law.' (Laws are, of course, sometimes proven to be wrong or incomplete, such as the idea of a flat earth, or the assumption that Newtonian mechanics would hold true for sub-atomic particles such as electrons, which instead need quantum mechanics to describe them.)

In a round-and-about way, this leads me to my point. If a scientist tries to answer a question that science itself cannot answer, he is merely postulating, and his science is closer to philosophy or theology. If he tries to answer a question that science can answer, he may be correct or incorrect, but he's entitled to call his opinions 'scientific.'

Which brings us to global warming (or its absence). Firstly, although some scientists believe that the phenomenon does not exist, most believe it does. There is much observational evidence. Doesn't it seem warmer to you than it was this time 15 years ago? Birds which used to migrate seem not to bother any more. Satellite images show that the Arctic ice-sheets are shrinking rapidly. And simple experiments using a thermometer tell us that, on average, the years are hotter than they were.

So why? Here we come on the the hypothesis. The most common guess is that's it due to 'greenhouse gas' emmissions, i.e., the release of gases such as CO2 etc. These allow sunlight to enter the Earth's atmosphere, but the reflected rays are absorbed, like the way a glass roof on a greenhouse makes the inside hotter than the outside. There is evidence to support this hypothesis. Ice cores taken show the temperature and CO2 concentrations in the atmosphere for many thousands of years. The two cycle up and down, the temperature following the CO2 level closely, although slightly behind. However, since the 1800s, the CO2 levels, and the temperature, have been shooting up - and show no sign of coming down again any time soon. They're already way past where they usually got to in the 'natural' cycle. None of this is proof that human CO2 release is causing climate change. But it's a correlation without any other obvious cause.

So what should we do? Should we argue that scientists have an axe to grind, so we'll ignore them? After all, they're scientists - they have a vested interest in science. Or should we decide to believe them, after all, they're the people who should know best? And if we decide to ignore them, who shall we believe instead?

I believe global warming is real. I believe it's at least in part caused by human CO2 release. As an evangelical Christian I don't think this is incompatible with my worldview - after all, God made the world, and it was very good. But then came the fall, and the outworkings of that are seen all around us. Is it reasonable to expect that they would be limited to mankind's dealings with each other? As a consequence of Adam's sin, the first death is recorded in the Bible (an animal is killed to make clothes). The pattern of sin and death continues to this day. As custodians of the world, have we really made such a good job of it that this pattern will not reach a logical conclusion?

I must stress, however, that although global warming may well result in catastrophic consequences, I doubt it will signal the end of humanity. Many millions may die, species may become extinct, and whole countries become submerged. But in many ways, that's just an extension, albeit on a massive, horrific scale, of the human story ever since the time of Adam. Should we really be surprised?

So what should we do? Should we ignore it - after all, as rich Westerners we will probably be comparatively unaffected. Or should we try to act to affect it, making sacrifices if need be. Is this analogous (although not equivalent or sufficient) to repentence?

For more information, visit www.eci.ox.ac.uk.

Northern Rock II - the saga continues (and ends)


A long time ago, in a land far away, there was a bank. That bank was generally well run, and even contributed a fair proportion of its profits to charity. But one day everything went wrong...

Now the bank manager was more clever and business-minded than many other people. So one day he had an idea.

"I know," thought the bank manager. "At the moment I take the people's gold for a time, and then pay it back to them later with a bit extra, and in-between times I can lend it to other people at a higher rate of interest, and make a bit for myself. But what if instead I borrow a lot more gold, and do the same? If I charge more interest than I pay, then I'll make a King's ransom in profits."

So the very next day, the clever bank manager went to one of his rivals.

"Will you lend me 1000 sovereigns?" he asked. "And in a year or two, I'll pay you back 1050 sovereigns." The other bank manager thought that was a good deal, and agreed. So the clever bank manager took the 1000 sovereigns, and lent them to his friends.

"Look," he said. "I will lend you 100 sovereigns, and you can have them for a year or two, providing you pay me back 125 then."

Lots of people needed gold to buy food, so they did as he suggested.

But then one day there was bad news from the kingdom the other side of the sea. Some bad bank managers had lent money to people who wouldn't return it, and everybody started to panic.

Then the bank manager who had lent our hero 1000 sovereigns appeared and demanded his money back. But our bank manager didn't have it, for he had lent it to other people to buy food with. And so the panic continued.

One day the King heard all about the story of the bank manager, and said "I will stop the panic by paying everyone back."

And the people said "Hurrah."

But some people said "Oh no, this is a problem. Because to get his money back the king will want to sell the bank to somebody else. And this risks the status of the money that the bank still has."

So they sent off a form and had their ISA transferred to Intelligent Finance instead.

The End.



Actually, not quite the end. For, some days after sending off the form for the transfer, the following telephone conversation took place:

Hero: "Hello, you asked me to call you."
NR: "Did we?"
Hero: "Yes. Why?"
NR: "Ah, so we did. You see, the address IF gave us doesn't match the one we have."
Hero: "OK, sorry about that, shall I send you a utility bill to prove I have moved?"
NR: "No, we don't take those. What about a copy of your passport?"
Hero: "You do realise that passports don't have addresses on...?"
NR: "Don't they?"
Hero: "No."
NR: "Oh, well, OK, what about a letter from another bank?"
Hero: "Like the one you have from IF showing my new address?"
NR: "Yes, just like that one. But a different one."
Hero: "But still from IF?"
NR: "Oh yes, that's fine."
Hero: "Right... you do realise it'll have the same address as the letter you already have?"
NR: "Oh yes, but we need it. And we need you to give us a copy of your passport too."
Hero: "But you know who I am - the name's the same in both cases..."
NR: "I know. And we need you to write us a letter."
Hero: "A letter?"
NR: "Yes, one telling us your new address."
Hero: "Like the one you currently have, that sparked this whole thing off?"
NR: "Yes, just like that one. That way we'll know it's you."